Dare to Hope
I've been wrestling. My son died 6 weeks ago. Days have already turned into weeks. Soon, weeks will turn into months, and months will turn into years. So many people ask me, "How are you?" I understand that the question is more like saying 'hello' to most. It is simply a greeting. It's just that this question forces me to confront my reality. The answers I have rehearsed for years upon years don't suit me anymore. My honest answers are too raw, too painful to expose in a simple greeting. I see the kindness in the eyes of many who ask and I don't assume the worst. Instead, I worry. I worry that people may want my 'tour of grief' to end before it will. I am not even certain that I have entirely accepted that my boy isn't coming home to me. I mean, all of his clothes are folded and placed in his dresser and they don't appear in the laundry basket covered in spaghetti sauce, dirt, or peanut butter anymore. Man, he loved peanu