In my Living and in my Dying, May I Honor You
To live is Christ, to die is gain. Philippians 1:21 This verse has been etched on my heart through profound suffering. As a young girl, I felt a sense of confidence that I could live for Christ but fear that I’d abandon Him if called to die. As a bereaved mother, that script was flipped. I’ve felt confident that if called to die for Christ, that I’d gladly go. Without a second of hesitation, I would’ve given my life for Haddon. Yet, as I’ve weighed what it means to truly live since Haddon’s death, I’ve been met with incredible trepidation. How will I do this? That deep confidence I held as a child has been replaced with a severe longing to go Home. Daily my thoughts played on repeat, I want to go Home. In time after Haddon’s death, my Lord gave me a deep yearning to go Home well. When those cyclical patterns of thought would begin, I’d pray with intention. Lord, I want to go Home well. Recently, that simple prayer has progressed into a resolve th