Overflowing

As a Momma with three little beauties, when something is overflowing it usually isn't a good thing.  At all!  I can't count the number of diapers that have been overflowing or just how many times my dear daughter has emptied a cabinet or drawer that overflowed into multiple rooms in the house.  In my chaotic, insane moments when 3 kids want my attention all at once, I have even been known to leave the sink on to nearly overflowing.  This kind of overflowing, however, is different.  Absolutely delightful!  This is the kind that quenches the kind of thirsty that feels like you haven't had a drink in days.  This is the kind of overflowing that leaves you with a grin on your face and a whisper in your heart that runs deeper than mere words can relay.

I had the great blessing of attending True Woman 2012 here in Indianapolis this weekend.  I went with utter expectation to meet Jesus there.  I was ready to drink deeply of Him knowing full well I would find Him in that sweet quiet place where He satisfies those longings in me that I don't even understand.  A play by play of my experience these past three days would be too lengthy so I won't go there.  I just need a moment to reflect on the goodness of God.  I can be so negative, proud and self-sufficient at times that the attitude of my heart often bulldozes straight into discontentment, complaining, bitterness, and selfishness.  I justify my attitude with what feels like deep, gut-wrenching questions and I attempt to diminish the fist-shaking at God that happens in the meantime.  This weekend I was reminded boldly that Jesus is near to those who are afflicted.  He showed me ever so tenderly that He is using the well of sorrow that resides in me for His glory. Please don't mistake me, I am not depressed (although I have been there) but lying deep in my heart is sorrow and pain from all kinds of sources but in large part for people that I love that suffer.  Some from the consequences of sin and some from trials that loom like endless miles of mountains ahead.  Some for people that live blindly in a world where a God as kind as mine is unseen.  My Lord showed me ever so gently how He is using that sorrow to stir up desperation for Him, create urgency for mission in a godless world, and provide compassion to many as I hope and long to serve and lay down my life for others.  Unfortunately, I often cap off that sorrow with walls, charades, and pride.  Often, a large 'do not enter' sign looms at the gates of this part of my heart.  Often, anger covers this deep well that overwhelms me because it is easier to feel angry than it is to feel sad.  What I know for certain is that God uses all things for His glory (Romans 8:28).  We are satisfied, even overflowing, when He is glorified in us.  We are to delight in Him for He is our great reward and provision (Psalm 37).  He is able to provide for, answer, sustain, and even carry those who are weary and hurting.  I was reminded to repent often of my sin, run feverishly to my Savior, pray desperately for transformation, and wait expectantly for revival.  Oh Lord, let me honor You with my life, my heart, my will, my lips, and my hands.  I want nothing more than to be more madly in love with You with each passing day!  Fill me Lord to overflowing that You may use me to bless others and accomplish Your good work!

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