Moments with Marri

For my Jason. You are beyond my wildest dreams.  Full of sweet conviction and grace.  Your wisdom has been a beacon of hope and light to me.  You remind me to worship more fully because of the overflow of peace and joy from your worship of our great God.  You have poured out yourself as an offering to God on my behalf.  I know it comes as a great expense at times but I am ever grateful for the gift of you.  Leading me to truth, to Jesus, to hope, to Jesus, to live because of Jesus.  Your gentle spirit, tender hands, and determined heart have lead me towards freedom in Christ.  Your strength has been a shelter for me in my great weakness.  You never stop at letting me hide only in you but take me to Christ, the living well that will never run dry.  You remind me that only He can quench.  You are real, repentant, and kind to me.  Thank you my love.  Thank you for all that you do and all that you are.  I rejoice over y...

Just need to remember all of God's goodness through my children today.  Here goes... Calvin:  I am so in love with this kid.  He is a bit serious with a delightfully silly side.  His smiles light up the room.  He is so imaginative and creative.  Sometimes he is so far 'in character' that he eats dinner, bathes, and everything as the animal or person he is.  He plays so well with Lydia and truly adores her.  He talks non-stop about his favorite things and then a moment will come when these deep thoughts and feelings are exposed.  He is so tender and gentle but is often leery of being vulnerable.  His emotions run deep and he still swoons over Jason and I sometimes just like he did when he was a baby...so connected and sweet.  He may have the strongest will of them all.  He is not generally the child to throw down and kick and scream but his will is fierce.  I pray this will some day be bridled and submitted to The Lord fo...

Have you ever felt that nudging worry that you are failing miserably with one of your children?  You know, the kind that keeps you awake at night rehashing every time you lost your cool while disciplining a child?  The snarky comments, raised voices, and dagger eyes that seem to pierce their little souls just roll around in my mind.  Why do I get so angry?  Ugh...  My prayer for my love bugs. Lord, will they be alright?  I am their Momma, so feeble, so stubborn and so broken.  Lord, help me to change first.  Help me to trust You.  Let me rest in Your grace and relax in Your sovereignty.  Guide me through Your Word and make me a doer of it.  Let my love and apologies be remembered in their hearts above the abundance of my shortcomings and sin.  Mend what I so often break and redeem that which is out of my sight. Lead me to repentance first and guide me to confess openly to those I love.  You are so tender Lord, in Your lo...

I spoke with a woman today by the name of Annie. It was fitting really.  She is a case worker for Visually Impaired Preschool Services (VIPS).  Get the connection now?  She was fabulous.  She brought to me a wealth of affirmation, encouragement, and bottom line just left me feeling a little less lonely in my plight to give great care to my daughter.  Lydia is fabulous and sassy.  She is determined, silly, and smart.  If you aren't super aware when assessing her, you may completely miss that she has anything wrong with her at all.  From her perspective, she quite frankly doesn't.  She is happy, well-adjusted, and eager to learn and experience life.  However, as her momma, my heart has not always been free from sorrow or loss for what may not be for my girl. Let's back up a minute and get a little background for any of you who have no idea what is up with her.  Lydia has nystagmus (her eyes bounce back and forth).  She was...

So last week Lydia pooped in the tub while all three kids were in it. Disgusting, right? I pull all three of the littles out.  Calvin sits on the big potty, Lydia on the little potty, and Knoxxie runs around naked.  Mind you, L said her tummy hurt and I was running to get her little potty when this delicious moment occurred.  The remains in the tub were everywhere and I was overwhelmed.  However, I grabbed my pink rubber gloves and got to work.  After all, there was a lot of work to be done.  I drained the tub and sanitized the heck out of it.  All the while, Lydia sat.  Calvin sat, and Knox played nearby.  We were okay.  Then, as I finished cleaning L ran into the playroom.  I had asked a number of times if she needed a diaper and she said she wanted to take a bath.  Calvin then announces he pooped in the potty.  I tell him to wait so I can wipe him, but before you know it, he is playing in my closet.  I am beginning...