Hey! Ho! Let’s Go!
Haddy was more comfortable with singing than speaking in the beginning. It was really sweet. One of his favorites was this Spider-Man song. He would say, “A, O, Dough!” (Think...Hey! Ho! Let’s Go!) He would jump off the couch or jump off the edge of the pool into the water. Some time ago, I couldn’t figure out where this little diddy came from so I asked the kids. They immediately informed me it was from Spider-Man and that Haddy loved it! They delighted in it just as much as I did. Haddy would do it over and over just to relish in all of our delight! I am telling you what, it was cute!
This afternoon we took the kids to see the new Spider-Man. We were all hoping for some delight and togetherness. Today, though, was a day blanketed with heavy grief for all of us. (Pretty sure the movie only furthered these feelings.) It was palpable, yet we all were trying to endure and find joy. We all wanted the joyous family fun days of old. We were longing for it. I suppose what we felt was this hole where our Haddy is missing. The truth is, sometimes he just feels so far away. We feel so far from where we once were. That is so hard for our children to wrap their minds and hearts around. Who am I kidding!?! That is hard for me to wrap my mind and heart around!
By the time we reached home, it was clear that every single one of us needed the space to open up and talk. We did that. We cried together, prayed together, read the Word with an aching openness in our hearts, and shared our grief. Those moments culminated in worship together, our voices all echoing the simple longing for all things to be made new. Gracious, kids say powerful things when asked good questions. We are all longing for Home in a way we have never known.
The death of my baby was not in my plan, my calculations, for cultivating a heart of worship in my children, but here I am learning to yield to the One who brings joy to the broken. We talked openly tonight about our weakness in our grief. None of us can come through this with glowing reports of our achieving. It can’t be the aim for any of us! We shared with our children tonight that each of us has deep need of a Savior, of the One who delivers on His promises. We need comfort, hope, and shelter in our aching. We laid together on their bedroom floor with a shared longing. That felt right. It was peaceful and hopeful to rely together on a God who is gentle, tender, and kind. He is not done with us yet!
Please imagine a sweet two year old boy yelling this song at the top of his lungs! Let yourself chuckle and then lay out some tender kindness for those around you. God heals broken hearts in relationships, first with Him and then with others. Please yield with me, and let Him do His bidding!
https://youtu.be/SMErqbke6KM
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